4/17/12 7:47pm
Hello Everyone…
Yesterday I received a post from a cool person asking why I did not simply enjoy life and live and let live. I smiled sadly to myself…
I have become an advocate for what is going on in the world of the unseen because I am reminded of it every single day, every single moment, by the strange condition that has affected my body. A condition for which the rational world of medical science has no explanation. The condition has taken away all direction and purpose of my life. I came to New York, invited by Random House to explore the possibility of publishing my journals “Talking to the Silence,” which had been discovered in 1993 by the then Editor of Vogue, Edmund White and Allen Ginsberg. I also came here to work on my scripts and film projects and finish a series of proposals for an international “Festival of Sharing,” which I had begun in Istanbul, Turkey and which created quite a stir, but which was cancelled at the last moment due to internal conflict with the international company I had been working for, and the Turkish government. I normally create theatre and dance events that help highlight the awareness of a dimension of consciousness of beauty. This was my life before this condition manifested in me about 11 years ago.
The condition is like nothing I would have ever felt was possible. It literally feels like the insides of my body are being re-worked and that my train of thought is controlled by another energy. It controls my movements, creating gestures that I have no control of, beautiful gestures, like a dancer, or as if some very beautiful joyous energy is trying to say something, communicate something through me. When I write, another consciousness takes over, I have dreams of the very beginning of existence, I recollect things from other time zones, I see through my third eye the sufferings of humanity through the ages. I channel the energies of people’s relatives, I hear, see and perceive another dimension, where there exists another state of human awareness. I can do things that I am not in control of, like see people’s traumas, and their true intentions. I understand and even recognize people I am led to from other dimensions and I can see the flower of life… The energies in me feel like there is an alien presence in me and when I speak, sometimes this consciousness takes over and I find myself saying things that are so extraordinary that, as I am speaking, I am as amazed as the person I am addressing by the things that come out of my mouth. People have called me prophet, seer, host, and many have identified that there is literally an alien or evolved consciousness or entity that is exists simultaneously with my own consciousness. I have sought help, fought it, denied it, and sought ways to rationalize it, knowing that this could not be possible, yet every moment while awake or asleep, I am aware of its presence by the discomfort of supporting this consciousness in my body.
I come from a proud and quite noble background, and my greatest hero is my mother, who I have not seen in decades and my Uncle, her brother. I do not know what to say to my family about what has happened to me and to my life, and felt that if I studied it that I could get my life and my body back. Through the study of this condition and the research and investigation of where this condition led me to live, and the people it caused me to meet, I began to see and link an unseen world that was communicating through me. I began to see a pattern, just as I saw a pattern in Paris when I first read my Journals back in Paris, when my living in Silence was first discovered. What this energy in me, which I like to call the highest consciousness in man fighting the lowest consciousness in man, is a battle waging in my literal physical body. I have found no remedy, no help, no way I can work in my fields because at any given moment this other consciousness who seems to recognize certain people and certain energies begins to respond in a manner that is literally beautiful, but alien. I never know what to expect and when this presence will rise and express itself through me.
I became its advocate, its messenger, because I had no choice, I cannot deny the discomfort and the fact that no one has been able to help me with this condition. No one I have met has seen it before. If I do not express its truth, my body is in literal agony. I have spent the last 11 years solving riddles, researching humanity, reading books on every subject, and understanding the link as to why it leads me and reacts to certain people.
I became an advocate for this consciousness because I had no choice, because no one I have met can understand the experience of this condition. And because I can not deny that it is real. And because it is communicating through me something so beautiful, extra ordinary…but also sad. I speak out even on FACEBOOK to get the world’s attention because it has led me to this point. I became the advocate because I could not do anything but obey after being exhausted by the effort to find a solution and cure.
The doctors say that I am in perfect health except for exhaustion. I have done the research and the findings are the information I have been communicating to everyone and even on Facebook. I am the messenger of another awareness and obey because it has taken over my life and because I hope that by obeying it the torment will end.
I express it to the world because i HAVE NOTHING MORE TO LOSE, IT HAS TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME. And because what it has to say is logical, makes sense, and because it is beautiful. And because I can fight it no more.
And it wishes everyone to have access to this knowledge and to the fact that it is stating that, very soon, something is about to rise in humanity: a new consciousness and awareness that is Supreme.
E.
7:47 pm Edit