Sacred Portal 5… (1O5)..
This Sacred Portal has especially significance to me personally…
It came forth through me after all the other portals were almost completed..
It represents the Extremity of Physical and Mental-Emotional Exhaustion when you beg for Death to come because the weariness is so much that it becomes Weight…
It depicts one of the most serious issues in this reality…
Rest…
It reads “Elutheria” (A Nod to John Shaw”)
Liberty..! Independence!
My Statue of Liberty is Rest (Be allowed) to rest when you are Tired.
“Leaf…Leave your tiredness…”
Royal..
“The Fall and the Cry of Ecstasy Bliss…”
I had great problem with activating this portal because the portal transforms the “Fall From Grace” to that ability to Fall..Without knowing if there would be hands to catch you if you fall… It is sort of like Fainting from Exhaustion..
In my entire existence I have never had this luxury and thus, I have never allowed myself to fall.. To collapse.
I understood it was the representation of people in this reality never allowed or allowing themselves to Chill.. most because they had been taught that they would rest only if they were Dead…
An appalling philosophy made more ridiculous with the notion of you rest when you are dead.. How do you know..?
Especially if Life and Death reflect each other.. And what you lived is reflected in Death…”Dream Realm”
As I stated earlier in 1993 I was diagnosed with extreme exhaustion and told by my doctor that I would be dead within a year if I did not find rest…
I wished to rest but there was no one to take up this work of complete it..
No ones hands which I could hand over this work on the E Consciousness…
And this “Play did not allow it…” and that was 23 years ago…
A few days ago my exhaustion came forth at Delta Manor… No one cared or even took notice except for Dewight Smith… But I still had to complete, yet another play or I was looking at no way to even buy a simple coffee…
It has been like this for the last 15.7 years..
From my Mothers Demands to siblings to expectations.. great expectations which so many people had of me all my life and their enormous disappointment and yet the non stop demands each made on my Knowledge- the living with so many people and the work talking posting- and the adapting and morphing my being for others so quick to judge a person such as I… And the greatest exertion of All 15 years of the constant Presence in my body and living with it .. and explaining it…
This sacred portal represents my home Dimension the 5th…
Today after the play with Dewight, I sat down across the Bridge.. Cross Bronx.. C.B..3 2.. I had to decide what I must do.. The Truth I have been posting and powering alone in a universe where Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are the only candidates that the Apathy of Americans could dredge up… And I who is at a Shelter for Mental Health- who “Claims”- but has been literally re- arranging the entire world moved relentlessly by his E-Spirit while fighting Everything in This Existence and beyond who rose to challenge our Truth…
And the battles which only few could see, but which the rest either mocked, denied or simply watched as a spectator sport…
How on Earth could I ever believe based on my experience that there would be those to catch me when I finally let go.. or was allowed to let go..?
And yet here we are at this portal which earns rest not simply for me, as I supposed when this portal came into being… But for All.. And only on reaching the 5th Dimension…
As I made my sat at this little park, I saw something glittering on the ground… I picked it up.. it said “TRI Home”..
It was about a decision of purchasing a 66 usd phone with the remaining monies sent to me…
I was Tired of the codes and this play…
But finally, I agreed and as I walked back the Shelter… I saw a silver car with the codes D.W.Z..69…And a Large cool transparent placard with the Number 5 in black.. 3+2=5… C.B…= E…What could I believe especially after this play of money which was the power of Humiliation versus my Beautiful Pride…
I once saw a vision of myself at the very moment that the play was confirmed completed by the arrival of theFamily of the same consciousness and my door… And I recall that I finally lost consciousness only to be awakened in a room in a Hotel.. And in another version… I was able to walk into the awaiting Taxi and then car…
I am at that exhaustion when I look at Death with such longing.. not caring about Evolution Awakening or family or anything but simply Rest… Rest… I do not even think of the things I used to look forwards to.. The Victory because deep in me, I know that there can never be a Victory from such that I have witnessed… Such a play where even now, I am summoned once more to posting.. I do not believe or disbelief what I read back from the codes.. I feign excitement and there are moment when it is real and sincere.. But in truth, most of me does not care.. Not even if this portal I am writing on is real earned true or not.. This play which has been based on using 40 years of Disappointment and Hurt on things which are known to be True to you- confirmed affirmed over and over again… And yet each time crushing the manifestation of that which you battle with the impossible.. with madness insanity and yet after passing all these Tests… Even to a Shelter in the Bronx… Knowing that such a play in itself being real and experience has already defeated the Truth of Existence which is Fact True Confirmed… means that it is not even worthy the Extraordinary manifestation any longer..
I move and work because I am flogged and beaten and because I have been so trained..
Is I expect to be disappointed…? No…
Manifestation is here, I see it everywhere.. but I know what happened and what was experienced and the Insult given by allowing such a play… Means that that there is no meaning or reason to care…
My focus has never been about whether this is True- but rather the play which was created which I can no even to recount the true vileness I witnessed. And the Response of Humanity and people to all this Effort which all came to me with ease but was made such an effort by People and the Unseen… So Iook at this portal.. And I am indifferent… 7:04 p.m…G.O.D..Not because I do not care… But because I am simply too exhausted to waste any more energy on fighting that which should never have been made possible.. The Beautiful Truth will always rise.. I made sure of that.. No, instead I look at the Hatred the Cruelty which could have inspired such a play… That such a cruelty can exist even in non existence- the dealing with such a hatred whose intelligence is so exacting and relentless 24-7… That can make it so secret and yet an open secret knowing that the very species it loathes so much, have been its greatest tools to cause me, for example to become exhausted by the malice possible in Human nature and in this Existence… And the horror of a Force which can impose its will secretly openly and possess another human beings body and Spirit and do so publicly for 15 years and for it to make sure that I am eternally aware to the very last moment that no one gave a damn until reaching its point represented by Dean Dunkwu Ezeufonna Ifennanna Nnaemeka and Amoza Born… I am tired of looking non stop into the Eyes of the Abyss of Hatred… Full Stop… Tired of see and understanding the Nature of Hate which Beauty has no power over, which Beauty allowed to challenge the Beautiful Truth and agree to such a play infront of an entire world who even if few wished to care… The entire play was designed to bring out the Truth of their worst natures not their best…
So I share this now… As I have been sharing with conviction of it being the Truth, but no belief that the Beautiful Truth has any power in this place- because I have lived it and no matter what happens… I experienced this, I lived this and nothing in all Eternity can take this Truth away from me… That this was not a dream… I lived this… And this will never leave me..not now not tomorrow and not until all is revealed… A long long time ago… it was already too late… And in 2010-11… I knew that whatever knowledge I had of the power of Truth… Love… Universe Existence… This play has taken it forever away from I.E..me… Not because it could but because at last. I allowed it too…It was not right of course.. but it could manifest this play… That does not affect the Beautiful Truth… does not even really affect me… My Beautiful Truth is un-shakeable… No, this is me understanding this sacred portal and me as this figure falling… I realize that he no longer cares whatever the outcome because what has exhausted him is that This play happened…. 7:23 p.m
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