6/6/12
Fulfilling ones life’s purpose.
UL… Universal language…
I read a story once, the first time I came to New York, when I visited my friend Ekayani. She recommended that I go to Barnes and Nobles, when I told her I wished for a good book for my flight back to Istanbul Turkey. This is where I had been living for three years to create an International Festival of Sharing Called the “Festival of Paylasmask” to expose what I thought was bad publicity the movie “Midnight Express” had created about Turkey. I know it affected mine own persepective…What a festival… Nine days on an island with a voluminous script and an international crew set to change the face of the boogie forever. It was to transform, for nine days, an island into a magical world in which everything is possible, and in which the world could watch a different version of how I, and a host of other people wished to enter the millenium: conscious and aware but through the boogie. This was a much better journey than I later did in New York of talking and writing… Anyway, a government vying for power and control, with a big New York, advertising and an earth quake later, I was in New York shooting a film and visiting Random House who had discovered my journals…
I picked up a fantasy book, (yes still in that world of fantasy and boogie…even though the festival was now cancelled, and I had lost everything, even my house and my govt. apartment in London…I was inspired by so many people who came on board, even massive music groups; my faith in humanity had been redeemed. There were people in the world who saw the future the way I did, a message of evolution and awakening through the idea of the boogie… sigh! But I digress…)
In the book, Ul was the father of the gods, who came to earth to help restore order with four other Gods… One of the gods, jealous and envious of the first-born God UL’s gentle nature and popularity, decided to usurp his authority and plunge the earth beings, who he felt unworthy of anything but slavery and debt to the gods (sound familiar?), into eternal darkness. Ul could have destroyed his brother, but instead sought to win him over…
What is my point? It is that UL translated to me as seeking to find a universal middle ground, a balance in the kingdom of dreams and nightmares. According to how it was translated, it would mean a battle between two energies, past and future, to create the present… reality as here and now.
In my journey through New York, working, living and communicating with so many people I have often been accused, by some, as being intense. Most who truly know me, know that I am not so. Rather I have lived an intense life, mirrored by Random House being interested in publishing my life story at the age of 25.
The experience of my life viewed from outside might be seen as intense. However, I lived and rose above it by writing journals to analyze, not only my own life, but the lives of all the people with whom I found himself living. My life story was so intense for others that a lot of people did not believe me, or felt it was too far out of their consciousness to even begin to imagine. But my life was not intense to me, at first; not until it wouldn’t stop being crazy and unusual. A lot of it, people informed me, had to do with my consciousness, how I saw the world. “Was this bad?” I had asked. “No,” they said, “it is just unusual…” even Laurent Lafont publishing house had called it the story of a guy from another world (consciousness) on his quest for beauty who lived in the silence (yes, one could believe that I have been making up for lost time.) But in truth, it was the beginning of my conscious awareness that not everyone saw the world as I did… until I found out they did.
Our lives or the ability to look at our lives by way of what we create. In my case my journals called “Talking to The Silence,” where I did not speak to people about what I could see and understand, but instead wrote my understandings of the things they told me, their life stories…through the pages of my journals. I recall at the time not being able to speak directly to people because, the way they saw life and reality disturbed me. Years later it saddened me that I was not able to speak to all these people who had shared their most secret gardens with me, and share with them my knowledge and information…because at the time I did not feel I had the right to assume such an expression.
It is Ironic that years later, I would find myself in New York, living and working with scores of people where I was given an opportunity to share my knowledge accumulated from years of secretly living in my world of silence.
But by that time I had truly experienced the world, and had no desire to share my views of which my third eye was able to see people’s energy, see the truth of people as light, while also aware of what causes them to become dark. I would literally see people, as if through memory, and call them by various mythological names I read about and whom these people, as I saw them from within, truly embodied. Left to me and my true sight, everyone was beautiful, glorious, heroic; I could not fathom why they were not like that in daily life, why they hid the most exciting parts of themselves… until I began to understand the true power of fear, darkness and self doubt. Anyway, I realized that my life was a mission rather than a journey, and whether I liked it or not, I could not escape it.
So I began to seek to make sense of it, so I could uncover its purpose… not my purpose. I knew why I was born, what I wanted the purpose of my life to be: lightness, laughter, boogie, sharing and playing the character of the heroic but marvelously decadent hedonist; a pure-hearted decadent… I had enough heaviness in my childhood… I wanted light. But my life was intense, and I sought to remedy it, but it kept getting so intense that I often paused, asking what the devil is going on, and who in the hell wrote this script…? People kept saying that I did–new age hogwash as far as I was concerned. They would say eye had a special purpose because of the way I saw things and saw within people. Hogwash! I said because everyone can see the world\people through imagination, and thus see it…our true potential and who we really are…
But in truth what I found was that most people I encountered the world over possessed a great sadness, even those who seemed to have it all. But more than that, I began to wonder why my life script was so unusual… I had lived in three continents before the age of 13; had lived in a purely white community in Winnipeg Canada with no problem; then Nigeria, where everyone was brown (not black) with no problem. That is, except for the niggling problem that we never really fit in, my family. I was not sure whether it was because we, as a family, had moved so much, or because my family story and history is full of magic, mythology and riddles…. One moment I am a Canadian kid and the next moment I move to Nigeria where my grandfather was an Nri Prince and royalty. My father was from a line of warriors steeped in magic and power… And it did not help that I had a rare gift of seeing beyond sight; rare but not uncommon in my family.
Perhaps this is why I later found myself living and moving over a hundred times, forced to live in over seven countries through circumstance, extraordinary circumstances…yet able to relate to so many people by speaking through my language of silence, which is, of course, the language that most people speak to themselves in and how they saw the world as children.
My point? It is that by looking at my life, its records, the same way anyone can look at their life, just pause, at age 25 as I did, to look at one’s life and wonder: what they hell is going on here? Sure, you may have created your own purpose as I did, which was to boogie in the here and now; but your life may be creating another purpose for you altogether. The key, I found, is not to fight it (as I did) nor embrace it…but link to see what the road map is telling you.
One of the most annoying things about what I discovered about my life’s map was that everyone knew and felt what I was talking about. People welcomed me in their homes and hearts because of that, because I spoke the language–that everyone has within them–outside.
I was punished for it by society, but everyone cheered me on…. even Lafont wrote in an analysis of my journals that I was looking for beauty, not realizing that it was within me (of course I knew that!) and that I was looking for it outside…and that they could not help but urge me on, to get to the end, to discover it within me. But I did not want for it to exist only within me, I wanted it outside of me, I wanted to be covered in it, to be comforted, and wrapped around it as I seduced the world, to reveal even more of its beauteous charms…
I found that my mission was about bring forth from this world of babble, this towering inferno of human miscommunication, the proof that within us all is the universal language of expression which proves that we are saying the same thing. Most people knew and know this but could it be proven? I found my life seemed to be created for that purpose and I said, “Noooo! I want to boogie…” But I could not get out of it. I could not escape the purpose for my life. So I spent all my youth and most of my adult life aligning the inner world, the language of our secret gardens, which for some obscure reason, had become the forbidden language or lingua franca of the modern western world, to build a bridge to the outside world of reason and rationale…. science and the world that was killing true imagination to replace it with a commercial imagination… that which sells and makes money. But something was missing, for within the inner world of thousands of people I met, I found purpose, truth, aid, people able to speak and understand, rise even when I called them by the names I saw them as, the beings who guarded the secret gardens deep under cover as they sought to exist as “rational”human beings in the world.
Those secret, true selves, the natural true selves I discovered…recognized me, welcomed me into their homes and told me the scoop about the problem of existing naturally in the “real” world… People helped me, people urged me on when I was able to access their true and secret but oh-so-marvelous selves.. where truth lay. And as they bid me farewell and left me to my own devices in this very fear-mongering world, I would watch horrified as they became different, almost horrible compared to how they truly were…when they quietly came out from undercover, when we would have a one-on-one… “Help!” I said, but they said they could not sustain bringing out their true selves in this reality, how painful it was to remember they could not be their real selves in the “real” world. It was better to act as though that person within no longer existed.
“But that is causing you torment!” I would scream out incredulously. “I know,” they said…but they had no real choice; they said they could not express, articulate or find the language to express, and engage or sustain who they really were in a reality that had so much power to mock that form of expression when not correctly articulated.
So I found my life’s purpose, but not my own purpose, researching constantly to express, verbalize and articulate what everyone already knew… You have no idea how annoying that was, because I was not creating anything, I was not saying anything new. I was simply creating the structure and proof of an inner articulation of the true human spirit (proven by my life but not really me, I just did the homework, the leg work…research and hosted my super self who took over my life to do something for the common good and the expense of Chukwu Emeka Kolo… C.K.
Which is why, in the end of a lifetime of watching and connecting the physical outside world full circle or to completion (which is seeing the pattern you began to see the full picture), and then doing the same with people through the inner world (which is getting the full picture from others when you are able to access their truth selves), that we are all saying the same thing, that we all want the same thing. So by linking the two realities, the two full circles to completion you get an infinity sign…or standing up 8, a harmony sign… proving that that is what everyone wants in the end… only thing was that they were lacking the universal language U.L. and the proof that we all want the same thing… to communicate our inner world outside and with each other, which creates the hum of musical conversation, universal love, universal peace and, in the end, the original story of Harmony…
That is why I am talking so much, writing so much; I am utilizing the language that I found, which was my life’s purpose and which was greater than me… and my desire to boogie….to bring forth the evidence that we all understand the Pure language of Beauty… any baby will tell you that… but oh yeah they can’t talk… but they can communicate.