10:53 pm
A Personal note.
Hello…
I remember watching K- Pac for the first time, the movie with Kevin Spacey and watching it a saying to myself What an exceptionally intelligent movie.
But it was a movie.
A Hollywood movie.
But it did move me and cause me to reflect on the nature of society.
And how people are so easily rush to judge condemn, and most of all how they rush to Judgment.
But I was far removed from that reality.
But it made me aware of just how primitive our society still is
Dealing with primal fears which have brought such suffering to people blessed with enlightenment, and perhaps to them a curse so unbearable many take their lifes… Having found the unbearable lightness of Being so terrible to bear in this realm of such heaviness in being.
K Pac- Cap K.
Little did I know that my own life would move to such a possibility made would move to such an experience.
But at least I had done my homework.
It is not the unbearable heaviness of living in this world that bothers me.
I knew how to adapt
No it is the terrible grief of what has been done to those who carry the lightness of being.
I never chose this..
I never chose to stay aware
I never chose to remember
And I never chose to come here and reveal that which I knew even as a child.
That it I keep this to myself
The daily struggle I have and had
Is what was done to my body
Not my Being but my body.
It was impossible to my rational mind
Impossible to even my awakened mind
Impossible.
And what more,
Is that the impossible was real
And I saw that I could not exist in this world if I did not resolve it,
Find out how such a thing was possible..
My way and manner of Being I could adapt blend in, as I later found many people do.
They go under cover.
And so I had a choice,
I could talk to the Silence
And charm my way through life having studied and learnt to adapt myself to any reality and situation.
And despite my being aware that my life seemed to be shadowed by strange circumstances and events,
I could ignore them… Or pretend to.
11:22 pm
I knew deep inside that I had a family in this world of beings as I and a biological family I loved fiercely.
But the Shadow of circumstances kept moving me forward.
It frightened me, and considering where it led me I had good reason.
But I quietly moved forwards and spoke to the Silence, keeping my true self revealed only through the pages of my journals… And in the expression of my art..
Which again, I find most do.
11:28 p.m
But the Shadow of circumstances and events became clearer and louder and my own quiet understanding of people and what this wave was moving me towards deeper and began to fill me with Dread,
Strange is it not that some call me Dread here?
But what began to happen to my body
Was beyond belief…
Exciting in one way but terrifying when it began to reveal where it it would reveal and revealing of that nature of society and people.
I was still charming invited into so many worlds but I no longer had control of my body and its expression.
Nothing could be more terrifying and I began to intensify my studying of it, often beseeching people in my way to acknowledge what was obviously happening to me..
But they wouldn’t couldn’t despite it becoming so obvious.
But it was not degenerative, au contraire
It made me express myself more eloquently, it elongated my body to reveal beyond the Dancers grace and people were charmed poo pahing my own growing alarm.
And quiet panic.. What was happening to me?
I pleaded within and outside
I learnt to study it, study my body
Study it 24-7. I read spoke to doctors healers all had some response but I had also learnt to adapt it so it charmed more than alarmed,
But none knew the exhaustiveness of the Effort to breathe focus or the indescribable horror of what only I could feel as my muscles moved as if re weaving themselves. My bones cracking snapping and realigning them selves moved through a life time of study of the arts of breath, hatha yoga, tai chi and Dance.
As if an Awareness in me was preparing me for this.
As if this was is, the outcome of all that training…
Which is which I could not tell.
But I dare not tell anyone what was really going on.
I understood the world and people well enough.
I had to first understand it myself, and what I thought was Cure myself all the while dealing with the incredulity that my hidden veiled memories of another Existence was manifesting here, forcing its way to this surface and into this physical reality…
And you the people, Individuals and groups helped it.
Acting as sign boards, rising with intel and then telling me stories, your life stories which confirmed it more and more.
I wished for all of you to be quiet, to shut up and I the social one sought solace in isolation so as not to be stimulated to awareness..
To see know understand..
I wished a Life
Not this….
And as I moved forward desperate and so near despair but never quite there because the reality of that inner truth being real was too great a thrill.
But I feared the historical cruelty of the primal nature of society easily recognized beneath the veneer of civilization and polite political correctness
The Civility which centuries of culture had created that subtle deception of the beast 666.
Is that not the root of humanities fear?
That primal beast we see..
Which prevents you even now from embracing this Evolutionary Evidence Facts I have presented of The Beautiful Truth?
Lock them up
Call them crazy
Release Barnabas
Release the Beast we know and embrace as our Dark Natures
But not these ones Light
Love and Laughter
Never could I belief the suffering I have born of Spirit in this horror of which I could not stop myself from revealing everything within me to you
Naked bleeding crucified by the lie of the primal dark nature you chose to embrace rather the transparency so apparent so much of reason logical rational empirical.. Actual which you yourself demanded recgognize… helped bring forth and when I finally stood up, stood firm
Took responsibility of a refused to deny
You left me, us-all those who came before me who stood up and refused to walk away from the evidence, the Facts presented and and made self evident
Even demonstrated in this world in the way and language…
Of the Beautiful Truth of Humanity
Rather than embrace the Hypocritical lie of primal fear of your own kind until it became True- Your Fact and your reality
To fear and cover that fear primal fear in words like Love, sending Healing Intentions while dying inside and outside of disease all around
Becoming the Hu man Virus -a living lie made real and a Fact~[]~~~~https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10157890272150162&id=585225161&_ft_=mf_story_key.10157890272150162%3Atop_level_post_id.10157890272150162%3Atl_objid.10157890272150162%3Acontent_owner_id_new.585225161%3Athrowback_story_fbid.10157890272150162%3Astory_location.4%3Athid.585225161%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A1451635200%3A1483257599%3A769752184908400230&__tn__=%2As%2As-R
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