… When I came back yesterday, I looked around me.
I was in a Shelter, a Mental Health Shelter. I had come the Heights of both Expression, Space, Physical, Material Financial..
I had willingly followed this Wave, which had pulled me for 28 years…
And this is where it brought me.
I looked around me, the way I had been treated here, and in New York and especially for the last 48 years.
And the clarity finally hit me.
This is not about rising, this has been a non stop onslaught of Hatred thrown at me.
A Script set up by this Darkness in Humanity which in 1992 when I had moved to the Luminious Light had brought me back and I had agreed.
It was hate…
Rage, but I could not understand the source of the Rage…
I am surrounded by it in the Shelter, it is not as bad as before, but only because I found myself non stop warring. Yet it is my body going through this, and it is I who have no insurance, it is I who has been focusing on linking and showing that I am decrypting the codes of Existence to prove that Humanity is Secure and was never alone.
I went to bed, after knowing that my phone being would be with Brenda and once more I was being manipulated in this Universal Script but not of Rising, but one designed to destroy my Confidence in myself and in the Beautiful Truth, the Eternal Truth.
This is what I realized last night, and which caused a switch to go of in me. This was all about destroying my Confidence.
And I knew.. I had to stop.
I went upstairs and tried to sleep, but Nicholas was already there, asleep snoring so loudly. I knew it was not his fault, I had tested his Harmony. I knew that it was this Hate, this Jealousy moving people. I had observed it for months, years, I had begged people to fight it.. Well not begged.. I had exerted you to all be aware that there was something diabolical moving through the world. Like the series Lost.. a Blackness. the same Blackness I had observed in Alberts Santana’s Home.
A Sort of Cloud which would move swiftly through the air… through space.
But few had the will or desire to will themselves to fight it, most just gave in and became Its Tool to Insult, enrage and hurt me.
I said this, explained this in the first few years on Face Book.
It was trying to enrage me, I knew this, so it had been since I came to New York. And the scope of its power was what I kept on saying was impossible. Because it could not exist as an force. But it did. And many people spoke of it, I had never seen it until I reached 268 East 4th strreet.. I was stunned.
You have no right to exist!!!
But there it was.
So, it has been here and everywhere… I had been transforming it as many of you are aware not just on Face Book but in every moment of every day… But suddenly after 9 going in 10 months and after all my efforts, and my observing all Its Slights, its insults.. it use of money and the Awakening and even the Beautiful Destruction I said no.
But it continued and so Bed 4-008.. 48 Snored so loudly and as usual people spoke about it behind his back, or swallowed it despite my feeling their resentment and even the expectation that I should do something about it.
I had learn my lesson in this place of speaking up, for others in Room 5A, and 3A…They wait for someone else to speak up, then they reap the benefits and then betray you.
These meek timid petty cruel ones who keep quiet and look at you with expectant eyes.
But last night was just too much with everything, so I banged and burst out what I had said before.. “Go and see a Doctor.. that is not normal..”
I felt for him, and I understood the cruelty of the place and some of the people. And that the cruelty came from their inability to speak up.
My mind going to the Original Creation Story I spoke about.. Well not a Story, what actually happened when the one who Rose after me, I called Nnamdi- Beauty, did not speak up when he had a question about who actually came first and the cause and effect which it brought with it.
I knew it was a set up… And so this morning I was awakened again and again, but that which I noted was the bed 4-005 who was really sick again, not bed 4-003.. who had been sick too.
But Jose of bed 4-005. Again I witnessed as I had witnessed before that no one seemed to care or even speak up.
The nurse came and Moe, I kept quiet and observed as no one said anything as they tried to lift him, and finally were going to send for an ambulance. All I heard was bed 4-008 ask if he were Dead.. half jokingly.
There was noise, someone was speaking at the top of their voice, probably not aware that he was not alone, I was trying to sleep but again no one spoke up… I had been through this for 9 months which perplexed me. Finally I got up and said something politely. He realized and suddenly the room was quiet but I saw Quintin a kid smile.
I wondered about that kid.
He expected others to call things out.
But I decided that I had to say something to Nicholas that it was not fair that I kept commenting hoping that he would take hint and do something, because I could not believe that someone would be that selfish. But again it could be contempt for the people which he had expressed.
And so I informed him, there was hardly any one there apart from 3 beds.. One was Q.bed 4-06…
Bed 4-002 whom I had once defended when I was told he stank up the room by Jose 4-005, and Q 4-006. And bed 4-014.
I spoke up telling him, he was at first like ‘You go a see a doctor”
Then I came out again with, “Well Now I know that you are Selfish and that you do not care for your room mates.”
Which then got him annoyed.
I told him that I had asked him politely.
He asked me where I came from..
Did I not have any family or Friends.. that why was I still here.. Though hehas been here longer than I… He began to say things obviously from gossip, of how I had been moved from so many rooms and that I get in others business. And despite his words I felt no malice. Q left and the soon one of the security guards was there which made him start saying things which simply did not make sense. Then the Supervisor came in..I was surprised.
And thought had Q called them.. he was no longer around.
I just felt disgust. Bed 4 14 was laughing.
Nicholas kept saying things mean, but more things he did not even believe and which even the both security guards said he was not making sense… And they turned to me apologetically.
But I do not trust the staff here, though the security guard a large black guy like Nicholas, seemed genuine.
The other knew me and said what he already knew, “This is not goingto ecalate is it?” I looked at him as if he were mad.
This same thing had happened in the very first room 3a and was why I had been moved. Fear of escalating violence, not a desire to resolve…
And that is one world Nicholas said.. “We can”t even seen to have a conversation..”
And soon he told me about not being able to get a late pass, to exercise, because that is what he does, he was training as a boxer, and because he could not go out he had gained so much weight which was causing the snoring to be so loud,..
Ah.. I said.. Now that makes sense. I understood his frustration and then he started asking about where I was from.
Again.. And spoke about being a Scholar and being educated.
I had heard him earlier about my thinking I was so intelligent, and realixed my getting into peoples business was my interactions with selective people. But that was for the work.
He had wished to be seen.
And I am easily seen.
And I suddenly understood the jealousy and that insecurity, not from him per sey but others in the Shelter and the World and my Life.
And I said, to myself, look where I am.
He had asked “What are you doing here.. he was saying why are you here… And his expression ” You are one of those people who make this terrible place home” was why do you stay here, when you do not have to…
I told him about my passport and a few things…
But what I had understood was that he wished to be seen and heard… 48 the Usurper as me as Death.. Bed 4-005 returned and I turned to him .. How are you.. It was the natural thing to.. He then told me what had happened. He had forgotten to take his medicine when he went on a visit to his sons house.. And it brought on….He was grateful that I asked.. And said so..
Q came in to see no fight.. I felt contempt and sad quiet..”You see I had to ask, and now I know…” It makes it even bearable when we understand.
Nicholas had pointed out in mid rant that my I should get ear plugs. I showed him mine at which he said something which could be the truth.. That they are probably too old and porous now… Which was something I had wondered if that was the case.
We live together.. and each are going through so much, they have no idea why I am here and Nicholas O.Wittingham was intelligent enough to figure that there was a reason a person such as I was doing here. And asked the question but in the worse possible way… Speak up.. ASK….
I can not play such a role for the world, reading their minds, speak up if you wish for clarity. It is not my responsibility.
I went downstairs, there was J.A.R… I went to get some lunch and asked D.E.E… ( My Tel No.. 455..) and asked her what is it with people in the Hood or this Culture who do not speak up…
She said that yeah that it is part of the culture, but that she personally sees it as Weak people…
I speak up she said… And oh yes she does…
She says I am one of her favorite people here…
I like her because she its so Herself…
She is Natural…
And so when I got here.. Brenda and Lilian were seated.. Brenda had my phone, Robert had seen it ( Richard had the other time), and Jules had said it was mine and Brenda had kept it for me…
Look at the Code… D.E.E… 4 55..
Brenda had texted me at 9:55 p.m yesterday that she had my phone. I.E E…
I.D. E E E E…. Brenda Jules Robert… B.J.R…Lilian Brenda Emeka… L.B.E… Then Robert sat opposite Lilian… L.R.B.E… E.B..L.O.R.E…( Legend Lore..)… I had 2 usd 18 Cents…B.R.O..THER S.. last night and this morning… A play of Brother’S Sisters… Lovers B.L.. S.L… 7:11 P.M.. And Legend and Lore today… E.B.ALL… S.O.L.E.I.L… 7:12 p.m
My Phone is 33 bill… 7:13 pm
Original Facebook Post URL: Click Here