1:21 p.m.
7-31-1O
Hello…
I finished the Ralph Ellison book yesterday, the Invisible man, it set in Harlem where Ms Brenda and her siblings were born. It is also where I lived or was led to on this Quantum Wave when I first came to New York.
Ellen Brody 49, who was involved in that Train wreck in 2015 at Vahalla was in Harlem.
Linked to the Metro P.C accident in 2009- the red Line.
I obedient to this Universal Script one last time today, because in a way, it is only right to find a way to end this 5 years and 4 months.
As most are aware, I am fundamentally against the Universal Script- Roaring my outrage, until silent..
I have been used.
I can read.
That is why I have been used.
And I fought for 28..27 years because I remembered… Eternity.
That is why I was also used.
My Energy and my Expression.. because the Truth knew this and used my Will for it own plan.
I could not accept this, and perhaps, it increased my suffering, because I could not accept it.
Because it is against the law of Existence and Eternity to do put some one in a story and contain that person there, not allowing them to exist in that dimension until the person proved the truth of the Eternal Realm, and not allowing him to go home.
Giving no choice, no free will, taking all from that person.
-And leaving them in a story which only he alone is aware of.
An lone Extra Terrestrial, a real one.
There is much more, much more of course…
Possession, Sacrifice, and to face down an entire reality alone who are programed not to a Script in which he has been imprisoned.
But I no longer wish to speak of such things.
It is done, and I accept that despite my battle, my roaring that it did not matter what, it did not matter what I said or did.
Who I shouted to, beseeched, pleaded, provided evidence, documentation proof…
There was nothing which I could do, or say which could have changed this outcome..
I understand now.
It was written
And it is Done.
I accept this only now at the End.
That there was nothing I could have done, and that all I have done was already expected, it knew me so well, that I reacted and responded exactly as It knew I would do.
I understand that now, but the one thing which It did not know was what it would make me feel, what It would feel like to be treated this way… and what I would do these feelings.
But then how could It know, not even I knew what I would do or become.
But it knew that I would not betray the Beautiful Truth no matter what, and that is my sadness..
Blessed Quietness… B.Q.
That is the name of a Gospel song a young lady who came and sat besides us said the song reminded her off.
It was interesting what just took place. Ms Lilian offered a comment on some one who comes here saying why do they come here without money, and then he ended up offering to buy her, Ms Brenda and larry something to eat, which caused Ms Brenda to comment that one should be careful what ones says.
Then she in turn did the same thing with the young lady who came in, and Ms Lilian agreed.
I had offered to unplug the socket I was using because she wished to charge her phone.
It turns out that the lady who was with a young man came from South Carolina and had been brought up in Harlem just as Ms Brenda had.
I commented to Ms Brenda, who once again with her usual grace took responsibility of her own expression, by acknowledging her error.
For she had said that she felt that something was wrong with someone close to her, that she felt it in her Spirit.
I watched the E-Spirit move my body and I was powerless to stop my own arm moving and quietly moving my finger to my head indicating that it was me.
She did see it, or recognize that it was me, and I was glad in a way she did, I really did not need or desire my E-Spirit speaking for me.
But she had associated that something wrong being the Lady who said she had been in New York for 33 years.
I feel no sense of triumph in being right, Lisa Natalie Johnson once said How must it feel to always be right?
There is no pleasure in it, it simply is. And in this world it brings more sadness and sorrow than anything.
It is simply a tool, which can cause others to feel resentment, to wish to see you fall flat on your face… just once, as my sister once said on National Television.
I respected my sisters expression, it was honest, and I could understand her point of view, and the point of view of others.
But I never thought I would be so punished for it, or that such a play would manifest to see how I would handle falling from grace, so publicly, and in such a manner.
To be proven wrong, to go to such levels to prove me wrong.
And for me to witness the pleasure in others, a veiled, almost guilty pleasure in witnessing it.
There is no pleasure in seeing my Fall in Lisa Natalie Johnson but I sensed that there was a sense of validation of their own suffering,
There is none in Ms Brenda.. none at all.
But I see it in so many, saw it in so many, in all those who came from out of nowhere, people I had known as far back as Boarding School, those I had met and who professed to love me, respect me, even see me as a Light.
They had come here, been moved here having heard of my great struggle and where it had led me, but in them was also the secret expectation of watching the most spectacular fall of all.
I had a dream this morning of Nikoma Rios- it began with my recalling how when I encountered him in real time, as I returned from 18 Mountain View, and did not know that I would be on my way to the Shelter once more, to bed 007.
I saw him just as I got of the Train.
Recall his public declaration of Love for me, and how he called me his E.T friend.
I had met him 15 years ago.
I met Chris Franco with him, but on seeing me, with my newly missing 3 front teeth, he had said when I said let us exchange numbers, that he no longer felt comfortable giving me his number.
I was now a Bum, the Elegant Nomad which had inspired him, and so many, to open their doors, open their minds and who each rose from my expression and exemplification suddenly I was not even worthy of their numbers.
I had experienced this already with nearly every person I had been led to, and I was aware of who they were from the first moment and thus, not surprised.
Because I knew and know what Love is.
And I have sixth sense..
Chris Franco said it…He is one of the only person to ever see me almost crack.. cry out from the horror of my experience.
Perhaps it was because he knew, he is the one who said to my amazement by his insight, Emeka is going through the most horrible nightmare of being forced to go through places and person whom he knows and experienced already that they will betray him- imagine a rat infested place knowing that it is rat infested and telling the one who sent him that it is rat infested and his being forced to go through that experience over and over and over again…
Chris Franco and Raz Berry Becky Berry Becky if you recall, my older face book friends where the reps I identified as my Mother Line and myself and my Aunt Theresa.. Really the C.T..
4:03 p.m.
They lived in Hartford Connecticut and after Yonathan Yohanness I identified them as the E line.. E.T.C..
It was not that the people, I was led to were cruel, or were dirty rats or intended to betray or hurt me, or even filthy, rather it was that they were infected by this reality. Insecure.
And my confidence reminded them of what they felt was their inadequacy.
And this is reflected on a National, International, Universal and Existential Level…
It is not personal to me.
It is the Hurt and Insecurity of the World.
Shucks… this is not what I had intended to post…
But the World requires Healers…
True Healers…
And people like Lisa Natalie Johnson who are able to express the truth of their emotions and their dark sides as well as Ms Brenda, Robert who is here besides me, Lawrence, and Lawrence from the Shelter who just came in and stood opposite Lawrence here…
That is the way Healing comes and the darkness becomes Light.
When I came here today, I took a break by the park, to acknowledge that for me all Hope in me for this Script had gone then I corrected myself, that I never had Hope.
I always knew.. And that is why I never fell.
I never had a Dark side.. but I went into the illusion of myself as Darkness. You saw my Darkness, by Rage, my Beautiful Rage here on these pages. And I believe as Brenda stated, it helped many of you release your anger and rage.
And that enabled you to see that you were angry, as she herself said. And that anger helped her re-align her expression.
Make her see how it was transforming her truly supernatural gift of Prophecy… Oracle.
Just as Lisa Natalie Johnson having a mirror through me, could see the superb nature of her Truth as a Seer and Healer and that she, like Robert, Lawrence are not simply Healers but Supernaturals, of Intelligence and gifts so extraordinary that they became Invisible men and Women because they had no mirrors, no clean mirrors, to reflect exactly what they were.
Their Extreme Value and Worth to the World and to Humanity.
And how truly rare they are.
Instead they were taken for granted and used.
All because they had no mirror embodied the acknowledge respect and appreciate that which they suspected exists within them.
Is it not so with all of you…?
I recognized this in you, in every person I met, these last 40 years.
Is it not the very reason I was plunged into a world of Silence, then darkness, then the Pit.. Like Ralph Elison character in the Invisible Man… Who finds himself in a Coal Pit in the End, in a basement in Harlem.. Where he stays because he feels it is safe, safe from the world, safe from himself.
But in that darkness comes the reflections of self which starts to clarify, starts to bring light. He did this by writing. Writing gives you a mirror to see yourself. Creativity does,
But there is no greater mirror than a fellow human being who sees you clearly.
But what if you do not believe the mirrors expression to you, as most of you could not believe the Beautiful Truth I expressed of each and every one of you?
What happens then?
Well you know what happened don’t you.
You sent me to the Pit, the deepest darkest pit of all Human Existence, worse than being a prisoner of War, worse than being held hostage in some criminal or political or economic war in South America, Africa, or the Middle East or even America or Europe.. Because there at least you know why you are there. You know the cause.
But I was sent after 40 years.. 49 years of my existence of simply Being Emeka, and refusing to give up on you and your Beautiful Truth which you believed every other excuse or reason other than the Truth.. that I was telling the Truth.
I was a Herb, no good, a Devil, Satan I had to have a motive other than the fact that it was, is the Truth.
The Beautiful Truth.. And for that I was plunged into Existential Death, not for believing you… But for knowing you, recognizing you.. And I was asked to prove it in ever conceivable manner right to the age of reason to vision to proving Harmony the E harmony.
But it seemed that nothing would satisfy you apart from my becoming as you.. Insecure.. fallen destroyed…
Despite proving that you are all indestructible because you are made of Energy Eternal.
What more could I do
How much lower could you grind me down into the filth of your ideas of yourself and self hate.
How much more could you lash, thrash beat torment rape me so that I would be as you.. So you would feel better.
But you did not, would not.. because deep within you you believed in me.
And your rage was that you could not decide if you Loved me, which would then mean taking responsibility of the Truth, the beautiful Truth that I proved is the True Real you..
Or Hate me, but that would mean that you would have to destroy me… But you did not wish to destroy me because as that Woman from Harlem said.. I remind you of the Blessed Quiet.. that Beautiful Quietness..
She said that it was a song her father loved.
Then she looked at my hat.. I love your hat.. it really suits you.. I wear hats like that..
I am her Father her E-Spirit was saying..
My hat is a Cap… A Cap I saw some models in Vogue wearing from a Photo shoot depicting Harlem in the 30’s.
Which is why I began wearing it, because those male black models was a rare image of Black Masculine Beauty captured in all its splendor.
And my code name is the Quiet Heart…
From Lisa Natalie Johnson
1:29PM
I love a good story Emeka, but I understood what you meant now by the gravitas of this message. I didn’t want to comment to comment. I read your post 3 times, and often when you write I’m carried away by the tale, by your eloquent usage of words, by your burden, the job that was put upon you, the frustration, all the emotions. I’ve had to detach in order to apply reason to it. I couldn’t read the code because of the emotion but I worked hard and used my oils to shift. Last Code. 5.5, 5, 555, 5555. It is done. Job superbly done. Now, the unknown…the new.
You taught me so well, opened my eyes and ??.
I am still open…thank you.
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