11:57 p.m.
4-2211–2022
Hello,
I am kind of “out for the count”
I was contemplating Destiny and Fate.
” A Date with Destiny.”
I never really believed in such ideas but most cultures in this world have a name for it.
I seemed to have spent most of my Life fighting such Ideas and yet found myself inextricably entwined in it hreads, Fils.
Are we all in some way or the other, “Fated” or “Destined”.
By an expression of our parents,by a voice within us but most of all I find by seeking a purpose in our existence.
Meaning
I never really that problem. Purpose, DestinyI was happy with unraveling myself, the person I felt inside.
But one problem I did have was “Fate”
Everywhere I discovered people telling me about my Fate.
“It is Written”
That is what I had a problem with, all these people who knew my “Fate”
Some saying even I had a Destiny, such people as that I tried to steer away from.
I knew that no one, nothing Controls my Fate or my life,
But I did know I had a purpose, role to fullfill.
And now as I sit here listening to the Silence and te echos of the mocking birds and peeping tons here.
Despite literally chronicling my own Life journey for my own self, to read for myself that something other than myself.
And that I can read, you all can read it for yourselves, from 1989 to right now when I knew that I had to document so I could for myself the Evidence, that something other than my will was moving me to its point.
Not mine, as you know.
That something is moving all human fate and destiny.
Of that I am sure,
For I witnessed it in mine and in all of you.
Is that not why I am here?
In this ramshackle building where you can header nearly everyone.
Is this not me here no where near broken in spirit but definitely scared and Market for ever by the experience of it, the extreme cruelty of it.
And this idea of what people are and have become..
An Enders Game.
What could have created Life and such a path to simply confirm that all the patterns we see and pretend we do not see, or do not have time to figure them out when something in the back of our hearts, minds soul knows that finding our the meaning of these patterns is the Key to everything
This “Fibonacci Sequence ”
Golden Ratio.
No really has time, they had to work and earn a living, an income and they felt what if they did follow that sequence of coincidences patterns. Dig deeper it would all turn out to be all for nothing?
Or worse.
What I.F ( 9 6) it was all for nothing and for that you missed out on the a life?
That is what I considered for years when I first read my Journals back to myself for the first time in 1993.
I almost had a melt down as I read my own writing as I typed them over a store called “Black Flag” on rue de Lappe, the Bastille.
Shock. Awe and the final conclusive evidence as why people had seen me as an Alien from another world.
At one point in my editing you hear me pause and cry out ” Why did someone not help that poor boy!”
I was 25, 26 at the time.
I was back for the first time ever in the illusion of this realm but I was no longer its voyeur.
I was awake and aware and living in it.
I could see for the first time ever how others saw me, I was as you are and the other “Alien Extra Terrestrial ” Emeka buried him deep under cover even the Existence and experience of the Light Fantastic I buried but never denied.
I had been horrified by reading myself my Journals but in the mentality of this reality.
And I vowed to myself to never go that deep in myself and Thought that I ever express that …As people said, that Beautiful Man.that Beautiful Youth and his Beautiful Truth.
And that was when I truly saw and began to see people not as Beauty under cover in forgetting but as forgeries hateful and Selfish that they would leave a Youth grow to manhood without explaing that I lived in a totally different reality…perception.
They did not tell me, and I hated them, hated them not as now but enough to see how much they lue.
Sometimes to protect you, but I quickly learnt that it was to protect themselves from the reminder of who they once were.
And that I was the constant reminder.
But do you know what I just could not forget as they could, you could, this Force I call Espirit or Spirit Expression Awaenees would not let me..
And now I am here.
And I know why It dragged me here across 7 Countries and 5 E A.S.
It reveled my Purpose my Destiny and Destination and why.
Leading me even to the Origunal Expression of The True Men Show and Tell.
But what is my Fate?
Why was it entangled in yours?
I knew the answers while staying deep undercover until I found myself on Facebook when I was.forced by the will of others to come to the United states again but this time 21 years ago.
I.know why.
I knew what I had to do before even being aware of what I had to do.
And yes, I am deeply horrified by what that force of my past pushing me like this in its will to evolve , to Express
I am in a state of quiet shock and awe.but feel no shame or embarrassment by what I have revealed or how crazy Transparent I have been
Naked Exposeed in the most intimate private way.
..perhaps a but too much for my taste.
I know even now, that I should not be writing on Facebook but I am.
And I know my Identity who I am deeper under cover in this reality.
I always knew in a way.
But now I have witnessed it in myself, experience it, acts it out until there was no longer and division or barrier between Eneka as the Illusion of myself deep under cover or the Man and his Truth, that indeed I am sure that I am truly The Source and have always been and will always be.
And that I am Emeka Kolo the Individual and he will always be First.
1:30 am.
13.O.
Maybe in some kind of warped an untenable way this has always been my Awareness and my Expressions intent for me.for it says, or they say as much through me in the 2011 Manuscript ” The True Conersation between Enrgy E and A Tom Ah-tom.”
It was not what I had intended to write.but after finally battling and then agreeing to let go these parts of my Self took over and like my Sacred Portals, I had no idea what was pouring out of me, but it was not pleasant in fact it was one of the terrible experiences in my entire existence.
But in the end I could see its point.
Samantha Yurkosky read it, and was taken a back and horrified but Rachel Young read it and called the Masterpiece che D’ouvre of a Genius
I read some of it and not since, and I saw what Samantha and Rachel saw.
I suppose what I am trying to say.is here I am, and I have mastered my Destiny and Fate.
I know why I was spirited to the wrong way..
I have been made so naked you could see inside my arse hole.
I have been made Completely Naked and Exposed to the Entire Wotld Poupulation.
I have fought for and even shouted out load for all Humanity to hear
My Name.
Emeka Kolo
The Source
Of All Existence
Of everything A Fact.
The 1st Journal, written lastly or 3rd, in Paris. At the Cafe Beauborg was called “Does Anyon Know My Name?”
I really didn’t
It was about my childhood
I wrote about Nnamdi there for the first time ever
It was the hardest Volume to write The 1st and 3rd 3 1… it 1st and 3rd.
1st and 3rd.
1 3.
Yes, 1 3 sounds right.
I do know my name
Truly do I know it.feel it am he.
A Man
The Source.
I First
Not Family.
Not Children
Not Others.
I am First
First Light.
First Star.
First Being.
Infinite
Infinity.
And I know where I am sitting even now posting this.
I know how people see and perceive me.
I even know how I look and am made to appear to some.
All white hair and a constantly twisting body s hi constantly stretching and struggling to stand up straight.
But I am also aware that all this and that is an Illusion a Lie.
After all, I was made to prove it Empirically in front of you for 22 …21 years without a dime to my name except through donations.
Which I said was all from me. While you worked for it and claimed it as your own with Sovereign Rights and ownership to do and distribute as you please.
And I repeated that I am The Source.
And that my name literally Thanksgiving
– Praise
Appreciation
For the Creator has Well Done.
Nor did his Strength give out on him as he played a man of this world.
He is still Victor Victorious
Upper Teeth missing
Mocked Taunted
Privacy Invaded.
I still am whom I say I am proven confront of you with everything realnehich vibrates pulsates Animate and Inanimate confirming except that which is still asleep in both Life and Death in Non Existence.
2:17 a.m
217
No matter which Pit.
Anthony Pitts
I am me.
Myself
Constant as the Notth Star.
With the Truth
The Beautiful Truth
Infinite Eternal in an Individual
I am. I
2:20 am
I know that was ,and is the Point of all this.
Just be.
Yourselves
2:22 am
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