6:04 p.m.
64…
10-3-2018.
J C T R…
Dear Lord….
Hello…
How do I begin….?
64.. 1964 was the year my sister has been designated as her birth code. I say designated because it is just a numeric code which i had to prove, I am its origin.
I came to Starbucks today, after sitting on Taylor Avenue quiet but my body beginning its movement again so intense that I wondered… how could this be.
I arrived here and found that someone had changed my Facebook password.
6:18 p.m.
F R…
“Here we go again” I thought wearily to myself. I had gotten up from a quick nap at 2 p.m to a feeling in my stomach which I had grown accustomed to- that wrenching emptiness and a of Hurt so deep and unfathomable but i .used my will and did not give into it.
I had found two coffee;s sitting on a corner as if waiting for me, normally I would not pick anything up from the street but this play of Instinct and Intuition and the spirit world play – game had honed me to a point that I unthinkingly picked up the coffee’s on my return.
I had observed two men, much older who sings when he uses the internet, with his ear phones on.
This morning he was so loud while the news was on that several men turned to him but said nothing.
I simply laughed, turning to Igbo Anthony Ottah, who had totally “recovered’ from the almost war like energy he had towards me last night – at which I had given battle and response.
“I have not slept” I said laughing helplessly, he looked to the old man and smiled “Me neither”
No one intervened, which always annoys me, “Why is it I am the one who always has to speak up?”
It is not a role I enjoy.
But I did, walking up to him where he sat and telling him that could he lower his voice-it is so easy to forget when on ear phone that others are present.
I had observed the him walking outside with Aturo Niege ( Snow) whom had wished to give me the the book by David Bodanis
*David Bodanis is a futurist, speaker, business advisor and writer of popular science books, notably E=mc2: A Biography of the World’s Most Famous Equation, which … A Biography of the World’s Most Famous Equation which was translated into 20 languages, and longlisted for the Samuel Johnson Prize for non-fiction.
Aturo is the same age code as Roger Attaway. 58.
Aturo is Elegant well dressed and looks like a patrician, handsome and very out of place in the shelter.
He has the energy of my brother, I realized a few days ago… the eyes..
Kyle Murphy has it to… KT Lockett, Ant Manino…
*Please bear with me, I will get to the point, but I am reconstructing the pieces now in hindsight and weaving them together only now.
I watched the two of them walk down Beach Avenue and observed how each walked, Aturo with his spine erect and the other who looked much older , nearer 70, who walked with surprising energy that I noted it.
I watched as Aturo branched off to the Arab Bodega where I usually go, and the other man continued on his route.
I noted that Aturo was wearing yellow.
So when I came back, and still saw the coffee, i knew they were for me, for I had almost 18 years of the way the Spirit realm or Mind Wave of collective memory works.
I resisted on my way but on my way back, as I mentioned, I picked them up before I could stop myself.
Both had butterfly wings in them in lime green which I realize now is the exact same color as the butter fly I found and placed on my Altar Art Equation Chess game.
It was on the miniature stone Buddha, but I was now grounded on at his feet with the Sword which depicts what I can now understand as his Phallus linked to the painting of the Angel and St Theresa of Avilles.
* The two central sculptural figures of the swooning nun and the angel with the spear derive from an episode described by Teresa of Avila, a mystical cloistered Discalced Carmelite reformer and nun, in her autobiography, ‘The Life of Teresa of Jesus’ (15151582). Her experience of religious ecstasy in her encounter with the angel is described as follows:
I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.[4] ”
Yes Morning Wood….
* The only place left for me to sit is today is the Wood side besides a woman I had noted before because of her toughness and friendliness to me.
She just offered me Vics Cough drops for my cough.
So when I came back with the two coffee’s, already deliberating if I was going to throw them away, to show my disdain and weariness of this play. But I tasted them first one was sweet almost tailored to me, and the other had no sugar.
I walked into the Shelter, and the first person I saw was Aturo. who was nursing a coffee and immediately gestured to my coffee’s ..”Put one of them right here” he said indicating where his coffee from the Arab Bodega sat on the table in front of him.
“Ah”, I chuckled “you already have a coffee in front of you”
‘Yes” he said still gesturing to the table, indicating comically where I should place the coffee, ‘but you have the real deal..”
That peaked my interest, I took the coffee and placed the sweetened one in the micro wave and when it was heated, I placed the other one infront of him..
But he protested that he was just joking, I knew he was but I had an extra coffee, and saw that I was in some sort of play…
Bean was there, and I offered it to him, but he looked deeply in my eyes and I saw him see something which made him hesitate.
Mark was there, doing much better, i offered him some tobacco but he declined and graciously thanked me for “Looking Out’ he had a cigarette and he was going to get some money from his old job or something..
He had not had he experience of having no income and thought he could weather the storm with his credit card.
I went down stairs, following Mark down too…
I went into my meditative mode and he and I were quiet.. except when i borrowed his lighter.. It was a small black one.
Kyle Murphy had shown me his Magenta Blue one- it was the same color of my tattered American spirits pouch and the back drop of the a poster in the courtyard fence, the same place where i had met Kyle Murphy properly, it was the day he had asked to be my friend and the American Indian play data which had flowed from him he calling it Turquoise and I call it the color of the see of Paradise.
Yes it all links to what happened this last night with the Thunder and Lightening and the 10 minute storm which caused such destruction last night, and to my Rain Dance and Kyles recognition of it and …that it was danced in a circle which he demonstrated. He is 40% Cherokee Indian his mother is 90% and his grandmother Gwendolyn K ( 7 11) is 100%
.. There is so much to recount but I can not do so now, and with what just took place with Isabelle Ilic, I know that it is so important to have kept a record of everything but there is only so much I can and am willing to do.
But I do wish too remind you that i was wearing my Van shoes, which have the number 69.. AND 19 on one side and 80 on the other with a Lightening Bolt applique.
And that I reached 1169 Facebook friends yesterday only after completing a test, a battle of Instinct and Intuition which brought my new face book friend who went under a pseudonym..
But who is really Toney Harrishouston T H…T H H..
( 20.. 2 O… 8 8… Yes EMEKA K O L O… numerically is 8 8)
.. When I went back upstairs, I saw that Bean had not taken the coffee, but the 61 year old man whom I knew was aware but whose manner, I just could not will myself to link to him despite my knowing he had intel…
I also linked him to my 61 days in the simulation of the abyss.
I went up stairs and Anthony and Moe who work as clean up staff stood and there talking while Kassim tried to sleep.
They began to tease me about my sleeping during the morning but then commented how it was Kassim not me sleeping…
I reminded them both that I am in a Shelter.. a Mental Health shelter.. and could only find sleep in the morning for a few hours.
That is what the very cordial conflict with Kassim was about early this morning at 6:52 am when he was making noise re-arranging his locker..
It turned out that rather being upset with me for calling him out that he was could not sleep for the security guards movinh through the room very 15 minutes..
“Why don’t you do somethng about that instead of calling me out”
i had sighed.. Why must i always be the one?
But i saw that he now had an food idea why I slept in the morning and with the drama going on in my body which has made my life so crazy and the men here weary of being my neighbor creating conflict, i had to find ways to make them less afraid for all our benefit especially mine- because that which does not respect what is happening to me. and causes me to get pissed of.. This Force takes over and i have no idea what it will move me to do… It is pure E-Spirit.
I have been taming it for 17 years..
I had been correct when i had quietly surmised that when we were children, and Nnamdi had shown me his drawing of Lions in a Cage with a Lion Tamer that I was the lion Tamer as well as of the family of Lions…
We do not keep quiet.. we speak up..
And as if on cue, that play just took place right now with this Woman who gave me the Vics and a what appeared to be a Homeless man..
It was not because he was homeless ( or not) that she did want him around her, but because he stank…
(the irony was not lost to me, but I am groomed well dressed in a grey blazer and I always wear cologne)
And in perfect harmony as he moved to sit nearer to me, a spot on the Metropolitan Ave…
He had not invited himself… She had asked my permission when she sat at my table and then..offered me Vics..
How could I refuse.
When i got up, from my nap with this awful pain and hurt .. emptiness in my stomach, I saw Kasim, he was like a different man. I knew that by posting his equation and resolving it, using my Science of Lyrical Conversation that I had affected reality but he had to be open to that F.M band which he was- and he saw the evidence played out with Anthony and Moe which literally made him get up and leave the room after thier comments leaving me a few hours alone…
Anthony and Moe left first plunging the room into quiet.. he noticed it and got up and left.
He returned in much better spirits, polite cordial and began re-arranging his things , as I had suggested would be a better time when everyone was awake..
After all he knew my schedule and Yuen and Francis leave the room early and I a leave the room a few hours later and he has the room for himself until I I return oft times 12 hours later.
All this, though tiring to recount is relevant.
I walked outside dressed , and again found my Instinct and Intuition causing me to pause, there I saw 25 cents at the base of tree right infront of the shelter, again without thinking or linking I picked it up, wondering as I waked to the Arab Bodega
( an ignoring the Security Super;s suggestion to heat it up at the Mexican place, when I discovered there was a staff meeting in the cafeteria).
I realize only now, that I had walked full circle to link where I saw Aturo go…
8:00 p.m.
But I had stated going there almost 18 months before he arrived despite every before dissuading me from going to that place.
Instinct and Intuition had guided me and then I had crossed over by using understanding in Hindsight and Foresight.
And only now, do I understand why I felt that I had to speak message Isabelle Ilic and ask her Yes or no to one last money code even after she had sent the 180:00 Euros which was meant to end this…
because that is my bed number…
8:06 p.m.
86..
I had wrestled with it- how I had no rational reason for asking her or even being this position any more..
But I knew this play.. I knew from the 17.6 years of it, I knew by how I had lived in New York without I.D and with no medical coverage, no dental plan…
Nothing..
8:08 p.m
88…
But my Instinct and Intuition…?
No, with my Best Friend.. Infinite Harmony…
Emeka against the World… It felt that way. yes, but I was never really alone..
Never felt lonely.. Just made to be and feel so alone…
But I always had my Knowing and my Knowledge…
I have never not Known..
I have never been the Twin who did Know…
From inception.. conception… birth …to the 8 year old…
to a man now 50…-51… E B…
The response from Isabelle Ilic was loving and she agreed but was firm about her point of view of not seeing this as I had stated proven…
She had come late to the play.. I too would not have believed such a script and money codes..
Lord knows most of you have witnessed the insults I have endured.
And when I wrote to Isabel, I had wanted to speak with anger of the Creator.. but who really knows me as this here.
She has not read the 6.9 years of posts..
Seen witnessed what others have witnessed who had been 1000% more pissed at me, and who had gained so much from my work bit given not a dime in support..
As I wrote her, I felt as though I was speaking to my bio sister who has left me to this fate because perhaps she felt that I would never be able to finish this.
“You will be doing this with your last breath..” is what she had stated – people had stated the same thing and in much crueler terms.
I realized that was the blow, the unfathomable pain I had felt, but the that abyss, chasm was not real… I had taken the Sweetened Coffee.. with number code 2012…24… T L.. B.D..
That there was no Chasm of Pain Hurt which this expression was meant to plunge me into ,that after all I had been through.. All that was taken from me.. how I was blamed by all those who secretly knew… Did know… who had crucified me..
That was the other song Kyle Murphy mentioned but it was not the song I listened too..
8:25 p.m
Ah yes.. 25 cents…Two Dimes and a Nickel..
I just realized that it aligns to this last sacred portal I posted..
Lady of Immaculate Suggestion… Release…
See it below..Morning Wood.. Sacred Portal 25…
Contd… Isabelle Ilic’s Instinct and Intuition was correct in agreeing to send one last cash code.. just as I had been correct to fight for her…
Ah you think this money code is for me..?
Pay the Ferry Man… No this is not my story or my script…
I would never put myself through this…
N.. this script everything about it is from Rage at Existence…
A hatred not to me but for that which the human race have become – assuming expressing without checking all the facts sure before you open your mouth and say something you will regret especially if I actually turnout to be The Creator undercover in a terrible terrible script and role to play which its creator played upon the worst aspects of Human Nature to prove them out of Existence .. for failing to recognize their Source after all he did to me- to show you what love light and laughter truly looks like…
Even in such a script.
8:36 p.m.
H C .F
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